


eight

by luxiang



Series: change my mind [2]
Category: Grey's Anatomy, Grey's Anatomy RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 12:39:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17467718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luxiang/pseuds/luxiang
Summary: An alternative storyline in which the ambulance scene never occurs and Nico watches as Levi moves on. (There's a happy ending. I promise.)





	eight

_“So, I’ll pick you up at eight?”_

Nico stands off on the far side of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, he takes in the vast expanse of the dark, nighttime sky and he watches as Levi beams at a man he’s never met.

_“Yes, that sounds wonderful.”_ He sees Levi smile.

The night is brisk, clear, serene. A quiet stillness falls over them, blankets the sky under the cover of darkness as the warmth of the city’s street-lamps glisten off of fresh snowfall. It’s late. He should head home. Until he had watched as Levi typed his name into another man’s phone, and kissed him goodnight. He watched as Levi had fallen all over again for another man, another man who could never possibly be him. And it hurts, hurts in the way of missed, forgotten chances, pierces him square in the chest as he feels the weight of everything he knows he should have been. So he walks away, steps forwards in the opposite direction, and the two become wandering ships, vanquished, astray at sea. _Passing one another on choppy, desperate waters, both far too blind to notice._

—

_I thought this was a teaching hospital!_ The words reverberate, a broken mantra trapped inside his head. _He pictures the sparkle Levi had lit inside his eyes, the brightness of the smile he had cast upon him that fateful day in the elevator. Until he remembers the way he had all too hastily cast him aside, turned him away without giving a second thought. The image haunts him, the innocence that had drained from Levi’s face, every feature of his expression furrowed in—_

“Dr. Kim, I’m on your service today?” Levi states sharply, distracting Nico from his thoughts. He walks, comes to stand beside him at the counter in front of the nurses’ office. He flips open a chart and proceeds to scribble a series of indiscernible numbers on the form in the front. Levi peers at him from the corners of his eyes, expectantly.

“Right—right,” Nico’s stutters. “Daniel Lanson, age 11, fractured radius, room 2212.”

Levi snatches the notebook from his hands and marches away again, leaving Nico alone, eyes trailing after him.

—

“I don’t know, Link. It’s like—like, I missed it. I missed my chance, and now I have to go around, watching him put his phone number in other people’s phones, like I—”

Levi strolls past the fellows lounge on third, overhears Nico’s and Link’s voices filtering through the doorway. He needed Link to check on his patient an hour ago.

“Look, dude. So you missed it. You missed one chance. It doesn’t mean it’s over.” Link reasons, tossing a plastic ball into the air.

Levi walks through the doorway and pauses.

“I don’t think he’s ever going to forgive me.” Nico shakes his head. He’s laid out on the armchair in the corner, his hands folded across his chest, gaze turned upwards.

“I should have just told him. I should have just talked to him, and I ran out instead.” Nico says. “I feel like I abandoned him.” he shakes his head.

Levi chooses then to interrupt.

“Dr. Lincoln, Daniel’s asking for you.” Levi says. The two men jump, swiveling their attention towards the man standing in the doorway. Link walks to him, briskly, and checks the chart in his hands.

“Uh—Thanks, Levi.” he says, giving him a brief pat on the shoulder before rushing out the door.

Nico approaches him slowly. “How much of that did you hear?” he asks, not quite meeting his eyes.

“Enough.” Levi responds curtly.

“Levi…” Nico starts.

“Look, save it,” Levi says, waving him off. He sounds exhausted, weighed down by more than just his strenuous shift. “I’ve heard this all before. You said that you didn’t want this. And I get it, okay? But, I’m trying to move on now, Nico, so could you please, just—” Levi closes his eyes for a moment, and extends his arms outwards. He motions, gesturing as if he were distancing himself from him. _He’s pushing me away,_ Nico realizes. It only fits. He let him go. And it hurts him in more ways than one.

“Levi, what I said to you that day in the elevator, it wasn’t—I didn’t—” He can’t speak. Nico can’t speak. He can’t bring himself to formulate the words meaningful enough to tell the man it was everything about himself and nothing about Levi that forced him to walk away. It was him, terrified. Terrified of ever letting another human know what it means to love him again. Terrified of entrusting another person with the depths of everything he is, bestowing upon them the capacity to ever tear him apart again. He can’t. So he stands there, stuttering, watches as the Levi all but slips through his fingers.

“You said to me that day in the elevator, that you didn’t want to do this, that you couldn’t go through it again.” Levi accuses him. “And now, you’re turning this back on me, Nico—I can’t—I can’t figure out what it is that you want from me!” Levi blurts, his eyes blown wide.

“You! Levi, I wanted you!” Nico cries out.

The words resonate in his head, they beat against the pulsating rhythm of his racing heartbeat. “I wanted you,” he whispers again.

“Nico…”

“Look, don’t. Just, don’t, okay? We don’t have to do this anymore.” Nico scrubs a hand over his face, and walks out the door.

—

The shuffle of commotion dies down towards the end of the day. Nico wanders through the empty halls of the hospital and finds Levi lacing his shoes in the intern lounge.

“It’s late. Aren’t you supposed to be on your date?” Nico asks, leaning against the doorway.

Levi glances up at him before quickly shifting his gaze downwards again, fidgeting with his other shoe.

“It didn’t work out.” is all he says.

Nico softens in understanding and comes to sit down on the bench beside him. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well.” Levi nods.

“He’s going to regret it, you know, not being with you.” Nico says to him, earnest. “He will. He’ll wish he had been there for you.”

Levi looks up at him again. “Thanks, Nico.” he says, softly. The two stare at one another a moment longer. “What are you doing tonight?” Levi asks.

“I’m probably heading over to Joe’s in a little bit." Nico replies. "Wanna come?”

“I would love to.” Levi smiles.

—

Later that night, as the two saunter through the front door of Joe’s, they wave to their friends sitting a few tables away. As they order two drinks, and find a seat together at the bar, the clock strikes on the hour.

_It’s eight._

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! request prompts or send me feedback at @schmicos on tumblr!


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